Last week, I saw the beating heart of my 6-week old child. At that age, he/she is still an embryo living in his/her own little world in the gestational sac inside me. At the left is the actual ultrasound photo 
The tiny embryo appears translucent in the dark background of the ultrasound monitor with its tiny heart thumping quickly. No words could ever describe the sight. I looked at the monitor for several seconds trying to embed the image in my memory- the image of my child’s first signs of life. An image I would want to hold dear for my husband who missed seeing this because he is working abroad. An image that glorifies God who is the Creator of all Life.
Last week also, news broke out in school that a student of mine committed suicide. My student was 18 years old, good-looking actually, and quite timid in class. I often spot him sleeping during our 7-8am class. But I never called his name for I never embarrass students. I remember one time after an early morning lecture, I approached him and asked him why he often dozes off. He simply smiled, I guess embarrassed now, and apologized because he slept late.
Perhaps that was the only interaction I had with him that semester. Two semesters later, he decided to take a gun and shoot it at his head. His classmates relayed to me a sad story of family pressure and quarrels with his girlfriend. Perhaps, he got tired of it all, they said. The day I learned the news, my chest felt heavy the entire day thinking why? Why? Why?! Would it have changed anything if I were able to interact with him more? Talked to him more? Have I and the other professors failed to be as second parents?
Now a realization about life and death hit me…
Do we have a right to kill ourselves? Do we own our lives that we can take it?
My answer is NO.
We absolutely have no right to kill ourselves because our first heartbeat is not even from our own will. Our life came from the Creator and He has the sole authority to take it.
Being a primigravida, I now have a deeper understanding and appreciation of life. Life is such a gift. A miracle indeed. Why waste it away? Life is not our choice, but living it to the fullest is.
My prayers and condolences to the bereaved family.
May eternal light and peace be with you, David.
You are finally home. Amen.
Hello. I’m also a teacher…hope we could share ideas about teaching.
Congratulations on being pregnant!
But I’m sad to hear about your student.
kinilabutan ako… wala tayong karapatan kumitil o kitilin ang buhay na pinagkaloob ng Diyos… sana matahimik ang kanyang kaluluwa…
ang cute naman ng ultrasound, hehehe…
Mine is http://seralulalu.wordpress.com/. I heard a story from ‘chicken soup for a teacher’s soul,’ that a teacher told a story about how a student of his (who got pregnant) decided not to commit suicide. It was when he (the teacher) told her (on the day she that she planned to do it) that she did a great job on her paper and patted her on the shoulder. Years later, she told the teacher and thanked him because at that at that moment, that simple act of praising and affectionate gesture, made her realize that her life may still mean something and decided to keep the baby. The teacher cannot recall that incident (of praising her because he had too many students) but it goes to show that praising and acknowledging them once in awhile may go a long way…and may even save a life…
Congratulations Duskfading! Magiging mom ka na! =)
My condolences though to your student. I believe that more than being an educator (teacher or trainer) our responsibilities also extend to help (in a civil manner) our learners cope with their personal challenges. We can talk to them and be sensitive to their needs especially kapag affected na yung learning nila because of their problems.
Hi. First off, congratulations on you becoming a mom soon! It will be a totally different experience. You’ll soon know
I was a first time mom too. My baby’s two years old now.
Sorry to hear about your student. It is sad but it also always makes me feel mad. I feel that there’s more to life than our petty little problems.
Anyways, I would appreciate it if we can exchange links? Thanks!
Hi duskfading! You presented these two stories in a very touching way. One inspiring and one tragic… I wish I could write like you do. I admire you! Ang galing! Keep on blogging!
ang saklap nyan para dun sa girlfriend…
matatagalan ulit bago mag boypren yun hehe
hi :] its refreshing to see a teacher such as yourself blogging :] im starting to be inspired just by reading your first entry! btw, congratulations on your baby! and ironically, may your student rest in peace.
congrats for the baby!
Wow! I personally know 2 people who committed suicide. They don’t know that if a person dies due to natural causes or otherwise can really put a toll on the emotional and psychological health on their love ones, what more if it’s suicide. They won’t stop blaming themselves.
kawawang babae.
dusk, baka kailangan nung gf ng shoulders to cry on, nandito lang ako. LOL!
joke lang.
Congratulations on your pregnancy… Such a delight to see an image of a life inside you… Soon to be a mother such a wonderful feeling… same here, first time mom. I happen to browse your through josiet’s
Cheers!