It was Monday and the  first work day after the terrible onslaught of Ondoy.   I indulged myself reading 3 different local newspapers to update me of the latest. After a very depressing week of tragedy, sleep deprivation,  and no electricity, I decided to treat myself with a Starbucks coffee and breakfast.  “I deserve it”, I mused, as I drowned myself  in the papers with a steaming cup of macchiato.

Our street after Ondoy dumped his fury.

After digesting every headline and editorial of those newspapers, I just found myself in tears. God! I really did cry!  My heart ached for my countrymen  who lost more than a refrigerator, a car, and wooden fixtures.  Many had lost irreplaceable lives of their family and loved ones.   As I skim through the photos in print, grief, tragedy, and pain are but understatements  sketched on the faces of Ondoy victims.

When I realized that tears swelled up my eyes,  I noticed that my coffee was not as comforting.  I am but one of the fortunate ones to have survived  unscathed. And there I was reading the papers, in an expensive coffee shop, as if like a mere spectator to this mega drama of Ondoy.

I think that was the most tasteless cup of coffee of my life.  My mind started to rewind to the days prior this cathartic breakfast…

After Ondoy dumped rain of gargantuan proportions in Manila, the first floor of our house in Pasig was waist-deep in flood water.  We found our refrigerator, car, and wooden fixtures floating in the mud-colored waters.  Electricity was already out.

The next morning, me and my husband decided to bring our family to Laguna – at my in-laws place.  We believe our evacuation is the safest decision for my baby of 7 months old.  My parents remained in our home in Pasig, to oversee our belongings.

Makeshift rafts made by residents of our barangay. My baby and me rode one of these life-savers when we evacuated Pasig.

Ondoy came, but the flood waters remained for around a month.  It was only a week ago that water inside our house had subsided.  The flood waters were gone in our barangay.  But some areas in Pasig, Cainta, Marikina, and Luzon still remained virtual water worlds. While my parents  are still fixing our Pasig home, my family and my baby shall be staying here in Laguna.

Many Filipinos had already expressed their postmortems of Ondoy, of  Pepeng, and Rosing, and Milenyo, and all of those natural calamities that proved nature’s fury.

I wonder if we will ever get the moral of the story.

“Man lives freely only by his readiness to die.”

- Mahatma Gandhi

I had a class last Jul 28 (Tue) that lasted  until 7:00 pm.  It was a laboratory class where my students need to cook and prepare some food products they needed to sell.

He was there as usual – working.  Not like other students who would just hide in a corner and play with a PSP or cell phone during lab hours.  I knew him for 4 years and his reputation as a hard-working student, jolly, funny, and nice is unquestionable.

” JM, dagdagan mo nga ng sauce etong luto ‘nyo.” (“JM, could you add more sauce to this dish).  With a smile, he immediately took my plate and did add more sauce.  “Ma’am mas mahal na ‘yan. May dagdag sauce e.” (“Ma’am, that’s more expensive, now that I added more sauce to it.), he chuckled.

The next morning, Jul 29 (Wed), the class president texted me and informed me that JM was in the hospital and in coma.  There had a been a blood clot in his brain stem.

So the sauce request was my last conversation with this fine gentleman of 19 years old.  He is in his senior year,  a graduating student.

I was able to visit him in the hospital when he was still in coma.  I told myself not to be carried away and cry.  But when I touched his hand, already with edema, tears were impossible to hold back.  I told him to wake up so that he can climb up the stage with his classmates, that his family and friends  is so eagerly waiting for him.

He passed away the night of  Aug 1 (Sat). The same date as with a great lady’s death – Pres. Cory Aquino.  Our Father called his son to finally come home.

Yet again, Death, like a thief in the night, had taken one of my students,  my student so young and life so promising.  I could hardly fathom the depth of the pain for the bereaved family.

After his death, life will go on for the rest of us.  For our lives are filled with papers to finish, piles of laundry to clean and endless schedules to meet.

JM, wherever you are, thank you for reminding us how fleeting life really is.  That papers and laundry and schedules are but mirages of what is truly relevant in life.  Thank you for reminding us that when stripped of everything else, it is the amount of love we had given by which we will be judged and remembered by people.  Thank you, JM, for letting us realize that we are but temporary and everything else in the world is. That what matters is to love the people who made us who we are and share that love to those who greatly need it.

Rest in peace, dear friend.

W - Waking up early.  Folding my husband’s sleeve every morning because he hates uneven folding.  Finishing my cup of coffee before baby starts to smile at me and makes me guilty to leave her all day.

O - Oh, you mean that paper! Well, I think I had thrown it somewhere.  Coming from a year-long leave creates memory gaps as deep as the Grand Canyon, you know.

R – Ready students??? Your professor is back!  Conducting lectures in front of you, class, is sheer bliss. (That is if I was able to prepare a lesson the day prior)

K - Kiss an empty calendar goodbye!  The schedule is darn hectic.  I even squeezed these few minutes to blog.  And I am loving it.

May 10, 2009.  6:10pm.

Overlooking Hong Kong Island at Victoria Harbor,

my husband beside me,

and my parents whom I brought with me as my gift for them this Mother’s Day,

I held a steaming cup of Caramel Macchiato.

I can say it was the most perfect cup of coffee I ever had in my entire life.

It has been a year since I discovered blogging as a medium for my cluttered thoughts on life, love, megamouth sharks, and everything in between.

I realized how therapeutic and fun blogging was.  When I started, I thought that it would just be a boring routine. Meeting call center guy, call center gal, maver, josiet , cash cow, and the others had proven it otherwise.

My wish for my blog’s 1st anniversary is to meet more nice people like them. Mabuhay kayo!

For my year ender, I gave my site a makeover. Do you like it?

Also, let’s try to review the year that was.  My top 3 most visited posts were:

3 – The Unweatherly Report. 112 views.

It just started with a simple ranting over the strong rain.  The next thing I knew, I was linked by Manuel L. Quezon III. Wow! I feel quite flattered.

2 – Simply Being Pinoy. 393 views.

I was in Hong Kong when I wrote this post.  I was kinda nostalgic of home.  I missed  my isaw days in Peyups and mom’s home cooked meals.

1 – And my top post is (Drum roll please…..)

A Pregnant’s Top 10 List with 2,300 views.

I never thought that there were so many pregnant women or people interested about pregnancy that they bothered checking out my site.  I wrote this post  last December when I was 7 months pregnant. I was so desperate of being online that time because I was deprived of my laptop for almost a month.  I felt like bursting out all my contained rants and raves.

Thank you so much for the people who believed in me and my posts.  (Sounds like an acceptance speech. Eeeuw!)

Sneak peak of what is to come on The Dusk Chronicles…

My participation in wifespeaks (Thanks, maver!) .

Updates on my Digital Coffee Cup…

A series on food trivias. FOOD SCIENCE 101.

and etc…

No more spoilers, ok.

As I always say, each dusk is a beginning.

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

– Lucille Ball

No, this is not my birthday cake. It is my Baby's when she turned 1 month old...

Guess Baby's age now? Hehe

They say it is rude to ask a lady their age.

Well, there is some truth to that.  I feel my skin crawl each time someone asks me how old I am.  I don’t know.  It’s just me, I guess. And some billion other ladies out there.  Ha ha!  But frankly, I do not answer the question.  I just laugh it off to change the subject.  And if the person is sensitive enough, he/she should shift to the next topic.

Statistics had shown that AGE is one of the top 3 things that people lie about.  With one’s INCOME and SEX LIFE  following consecutively.

That made me think.

Perhaps the reason why people are quite uncomfortable when being asked about their age is that a truth in the form of a 2-digit number flashes at the back of their heads. People starts to panic seeing this number flashing mercilessly  deep within and starts asking themselves, “Will I tell the truth?”,   “Is my age so apparent?”, “Will my age ruin my perfectly done face lift?”, “Will I be judged?”.  Tsk tsk.  Truth is never kind, you know.

Or perhaps people are hesitant to tell their age because deep down inside, they know they had failed to act their age and feel sorry about it.   I admit  that happens to me quite often. Ha ha!

I  turned 30 last 18th of April.  I am proud to say that my greatest achievement in life, so far in the past 30 years,  was to bear a beautiful daughter.  My baby just outshines my all other accomplishments.

Proud Mom at 30.

Now that I am at my third decade of existence, it just made me stop to wonder the events in my life that are both significant and mundane.  Should I be ashamed of my age?  I had realized that I need not be.  I am too blessed to be keeping  my age to myself.  Just too blessed.  Posting my true age in cyberspace is but proof  that I am now proud of reaching this point of my life.

Indeed, age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I confess.  I failed to have a daily prayer time.

I believe praying should be as important and second nature as one’s daily brushing of teeth.  But sadly, for all the lame reasons,  I failed to be consistent on my commitment to a daily prayer time.

Prayer is the sustenance of the soul.  Our lifeline to the Creator who cares for us.  So much He cared that He allowed His Only Son to die on a cross to redeem us.

During my prayer time, I check the Scriptural reading for the day.  It helped me during my reflections.  Many of my greatest realizations  in life happen during my prayer times.

In Honor of the Great Man who will die this Friday…

For the Great Friend who sees my soul worthy of  shedding His Holy Blood…

For the Greatest Lover the world has ever known…

I post my favorite Bible verses…

“Do not be afraid – I will save you.

I have called you by name – you are mine.

When you pass through deep waters,  I will be with you;

your troubles will not overwhelm you.

When you pass through fire, you will not be burned;

the hard trials that come will not hurt you.

For I am the Lord your God, the holy God of Israel, who saves you.”

Isaiah 43: 1-3

How about you? What is your favorite Bible verse?

Have a blessed and meaningful Holy Week.

I think I am already immune to paracetamol.

So I resorted to one analgesic that I am sure I will never be immune to.

Tadaaah….

After 9 months of coffee deprivation, I deserve an iced Caramel Macchiato. Venti size take note.

I feel all my aches and pains dissolve in its vanilla caramel goodness….

Hoorah for my first Starbucks treat after my C-section!  Aside from the healing powers of caffeine,  the ambience soothed my yearning heart as well.  I took this cup of bliss from the Starbucks where I first met my husband.

A toast to us my Mahal!

Having a  fortuitous faery as a  friend taught me several things…

How small the world really is…

That distance is never an issue to real friends…

That receiving snail mail in this cyber age is the sweetest feeling in the world!

If only you are here in ‘Pinas, you will be indeed a faery godmother!

Thanks so much conell!  My baby appreciates your card 

Welcome the angel!

Welcome to the Cesarean Club!

It has been exactly a month and 5 days since I had lain on an operating room and zipped open to get my pretty baby from my abdomen.

Ok… ok… say that I am morbid… but I am telling you, the recovery from a C-section delivery is NOT a pleasant experience.  My definition of PAIN was radically changed.

As I had mentioned,  it has been over a month and never did a day pass that I haven’t felt some form of pain or discomfort on the area of my stitches or at my lower back where I got my epidural.  Gahd!! I am telling you the pain is sheer agony at my lower back each time I try to bend over.  I feel my body breaking in two.

My OB-GYNE says the pain should be anticipated.  I am allergic to mefenamic acid, so she prescribes me a mild analgesic-  paracetamol every 4 hrs or as needed.  I think “mild” analgesic is an understatement!!! I am watching the clock like crazy as to when I can pop my next tablet of paracetamol to rid me of this damn pain.  I guess I am the type of person that is tolerant of pain.  But being given a daily dose of pain for over a month is beyond my frail tender body can handle.

Aside from my litany of pain, I experience weird mood swings.  I feel bored as minutes tick away. I sometimes lose appetite.  I want to go out, but rather stay at home and be in my pajamas all day.  I even cry over the lamest soap opera on TV.  I also cry and laugh at the same time when I watch my baby sleeping at night.  Gahd!!!!! Am I going mad?!

I had scoured the internet regarding C-section post partum, but I was quite disappointed.  Everything sounded like textbooks preaching the do’s and dont’s.  Some sites are even threatening, citing that 50-75% of new mothers are affected by some form of depression, with mothers who had c-section at higher risk.  Duh?!  Great! Exactly what I wanted to hear to cheer my little heart.  The sites even had categorized such depressions.  The mild condition is called  “baby blues”;  the moderate form, “postpartum depression”; and the severe type “postpartum psychosis”.   Hmmm… where does my sanity lie on those categories?

I don’t like baby blues.  I like baby pink.

According to the cruel websites, postpartum lasts for 6 weeks.  Well, I am still 9 days short of ending my sweet dose of pain.

If you share my sentiments in any way… speak out…