I feel all my aches and pains dissolve in its vanilla caramel goodness….
Hoorah for my first Starbucks treat after my C-section! Aside from the healing powers of caffeine, the ambience soothed my yearning heart as well. I took this cup of bliss from the Starbucks where I first met my husband.
It has been exactly a month and 5 days since I had lain on an operating room and zipped open to get my pretty baby from my abdomen.
Ok… ok… say that I am morbid… but I am telling you, the recovery from a C-section delivery is NOT a pleasant experience. My definition of PAIN was radically changed.
As I had mentioned, it has been over a month and never did a day pass that I haven’t felt some form of pain or discomfort on the area of my stitches or at my lower back where I got my epidural. Gahd!! I am telling you the pain is sheer agony at my lower back each time I try to bend over. I feel my body breaking in two.
My OB-GYNE says the pain should be anticipated. I am allergic to mefenamic acid, so she prescribes me a mild analgesic- paracetamol every 4 hrs or as needed. I think “mild” analgesic is an understatement!!! I am watching the clock like crazy as to when I can pop my next tablet of paracetamol to rid me of this damn pain. I guess I am the type of person that is tolerant of pain. But being given a daily dose of pain for over a month is beyond my frail tender body can handle.
Aside from my litany of pain, I experience weird mood swings. I feel bored as minutes tick away. I sometimes lose appetite. I want to go out, but rather stay at home and be in my pajamas all day. I even cry over the lamest soap opera on TV. I also cry and laugh at the same time when I watch my baby sleeping at night. Gahd!!!!! Am I going mad?!
I had scoured the internet regarding C-section post partum, but I was quite disappointed. Everything sounded like textbooks preaching the do’s and dont’s. Some sites are even threatening, citing that 50-75% of new mothers are affected by some form of depression, with mothers who had c-section at higher risk. Duh?! Great! Exactly what I wanted to hear to cheer my little heart. The sites even had categorized such depressions. The mild condition is called “baby blues”; the moderate form, “postpartum depression”; and the severe type “postpartum psychosis”. Hmmm… where does my sanity lie on those categories?
I don’t like baby blues. I like baby pink.
According to the cruel websites, postpartum lasts for 6 weeks. Well, I am still 9 days short of ending my sweet dose of pain.
My daughter emerged through Cesarean section after 12 hrs of my futile labor and a mere 1 cm opening of my cervix.
I was still half conscious when I heard her first cry. Was I really awake that time? Or was it just a dream? As if instinct had stirred me awake from that epidural. I saw my husband standing near the door of the operating room, smiling at me with eyes like I had never seen before. That moment, I knew everything was alright. After a few minutes, everything faded into blackness…
When I woke up, my complete awareness of what was happening began to kick in. I realized the operation was over and the nurses waited for the numbness of my legs to subside before moving me to my room. The friendly nurse approached when she saw I was already fully awake. She asked if I want to see my baby. I agreed eagerly.
The nurse then laid this little creature on my chest. Dear Lord! No words could describe my elation when we were chest to chest. Her eyes probed towards mine as if she was trying to recognize me. Perhaps she did recognize me though I know she is not yet able to see. Her eyes were inexplicably beautiful. Her sedated gaze as if piercing me through the heart. Those searching eyes; as if assessing my 29 years of existence and redefining my whole being. That gaze defined the rest of my lifetime!
After being deprived of sunshine, shopping from malls, a computer and internet access, I had emerged from my 2nd trimester with my sanity intact.
I had learned and realized several things during the past 7 months ….
10. Internet is a necessity.
9. Blessed are thou who works and earns during pregnancy.
8. Parenting is a never-ending responsibility.
7. A 7-month fetus moves like an octopus catching a prey inside of you.
6. Fantasizing about your baby is an exhilarating feeling.
5. Being pregnant without your husband around is like living with a part of your body missing.
4. Television is mind-numbing and fattening.
3. Blessed are thou who had finished at least a single project of cross stitch.
2. Coffee. So near, yet so far.
1. A pregnant mother develops her maternal psyche and instincts as her child inside develops the basic of body parts. Ergo, the mother herself is a fetus in the womb of Life.
Recent Comments