My Baby Wears Prada

Finally, I was given the chance to leave the house and get some fresh air.

I went to the mall with my Mom and learned that the mall was on promo sale. Goodie! Goodie!

I was really dying to buy maternity clothes. Nothing fits me anymore! If I do try to put on my old shirts or pants, I would look like a mutated tadpole. And baby kinda complains inside, starting to squirm because of the tight fit.

So I went to the nearest maternity clothes stall and it was absolute heaven!!! I was able to purchase cute and casual blouses and pants.

In the same area was the baby clothes section. The tiny shirts, booties, mittens, caps, and colorful diapers were all overwhelmingly cute. The best part was they are all on sale!! Before, you can never drag me to the baby’s section. Now, I don’t want to leave the place.

My Mom, being the expert-in-everything that she is didn’t waste another minute and started picking out clothes for our much-awaited newborn. While I was checking out the displayed items, I noticed that more pregnant moms started to crowd the area, pulling out clothes from shelves, scrutinizing each item, interrogating the sales ladies for sizes and colors. For the first time, I was surrounded by around 10 very pregnant women with tummies waaay larger than mine and bodies like double or triple my weight. I felt uncomfortable at first, realizing the fact that I am now one of them. Do I really look that immense? Naaahh.. I don’t think so. Would you believe I still weigh less 120 lbs?

Anyway, I just squirmed my way out of the growing crowd of tummies and checked the pile of clothes my Mom decided to pick.  Too bad we are still guessing if my baby is a girl or boy. But nonetheless, buying him/her clothes is such a delight. Seeing the miniature apparel makes him/her more closer… real… tangible.

See how delightful my baby clothes are…

By the way… Daddy… I charged all these to your credit ok. Wehehehe

I never thought his/her body could be this tiny...

Hindi naman masyado mahilig sa Disney ano?!

Parental Advisory…

I wanna share this one from a friend of mine who simply has sheer talent of searching the web for the funniest of things…

This is very, very educational. And timely for this primigravida.

For soon-to-be parents out there, consider this as Taking Care of Baby 101.  Haha

Endless Pause…

It’s been quite a while since I last visited my blog.

Dear God! Where will I start the explaining?

I was hospitalized Aug 1 – 5. And after 3 days at home, I was admitted again and stayed in the hospital, this time quite longer, from Aug 9-15.

It was really a roller coaster of an experience for me, but not of a thrilling and entertaining kind.

I experienced strong bleeding and was diagnosed as threatened abortion that’s why I need to stay in the hospital with all the IV running through my veins.  Sitting and standing to go to the rest room is not an option for my bleeding cervix easily aggravated by the the most minute of movements.

My husband is there crowding my cellphone’s message inbox. My mom became an instant caregiver. My friends also visited.  Such blessings.

And as for my tiny uterus tenant of 11 weeks, yes, he/she is fine. That is perhaps my greatest and sweetest consolation.

Several nights at the hospital did I ponder what is really happening. Now released from the hospital, still I am pondering  the fact that I am not allowed to walk or stand or even sit for long hours.

Matigas lang ang mukha ko na umuupo ako para humarap sa laptop.

Feeling somewhat like a prisoner of my own room, I thought, is this what I signed up for?

Frankly, I feel miserable.  And hopeful. And anxious. And thankful.

This inexplicable cocktail of feelings is perhaps caused by the storm of hormones raging in me. And perhaps, one of the side effects of continuous intake of dydrogesterone tablets.

Friends, readers… this primigravida needs all the moral support she can get. Thanks.

A Lesson on Life and Death

Last week, I saw the beating heart of my 6-week old child. At that age, he/she is still an embryo living in his/her own little world in the gestational sac inside me. At the left is the actual ultrasound photo 

The tiny embryo appears translucent in the dark background of the ultrasound monitor with its tiny heart thumping quickly.  No words could ever describe the sight. I looked at the monitor for several seconds trying to embed the image in my memory- the image of my child’s first signs of life. An image I would want to hold dear for my husband who missed seeing this because he is working abroad. An image that glorifies God who is the Creator of all Life.

Last week also, news broke out in school that a student of mine committed suicide. My student was 18 years old, good-looking actually, and quite timid in class. I often spot him sleeping during our 7-8am class. But I never called his name for I never embarrass students.  I remember one time after an early morning lecture, I approached him and asked him why he often dozes off.  He simply smiled, I guess embarrassed now, and apologized because he slept late.

Perhaps that was the only interaction I had with him that semester.  Two semesters later, he decided to take a gun and shoot it at his head.  His classmates relayed to me a sad story of family pressure and quarrels with his girlfriend. Perhaps, he got tired of it all, they said.  The day I learned the news, my chest felt heavy the entire day thinking why? Why? Why?!  Would it have changed anything if I were able to interact with him more? Talked to him more?  Have I and the other professors failed to be as second parents?

Now a realization about life and death hit me…

Do we have a right to kill ourselves?  Do we own our lives that we can take it?

My answer is NO.

We absolutely have no right to kill ourselves because our first heartbeat is not even from our own will. Our life came from the Creator and He has the sole authority to take it.

Being a primigravida, I now have a deeper understanding and appreciation of life.  Life is such a gift. A miracle indeed.  Why waste it away?  Life is not our choice, but living it to the fullest is.

My prayers and condolences to the bereaved family.

May eternal light and peace be with you, David.

You are finally home. Amen.

Primigravida

pri·mi·grav·i·da (prm-grv-d)

n.

A woman in her first pregnancy.

I just learned last week I am pregnant.

I am now on my 6th week. Confetti! Confetti!!!

It was a total surprise because I thought I had my period last week. But no siree… the doctor said it was already bleeding.

So this whole week what did I do?

I slept.

And slept.

And slept.

And yah, did I mention I slept?

I  just followed the doctor’s advise of a 1 week bedrest. This afternoon will be my 2nd checkup. Gahd! When I see her bed at the clinic with that stand where you have to rest your feet while you are lying down gives me shivers.

Let us pray that everything is now normal, dba mahal?