nicadusk

That was the exact moment God planned it.

My daughter emerged through Cesarean section after 12 hrs of my futile labor and a mere 1 cm opening of my cervix.

I was still half conscious when I heard her first cry. Was I really awake that time? Or was it just a dream? As if instinct had stirred me awake from that epidural.  I saw my husband standing near the door of the operating room, smiling at me with eyes like I had never seen before.  That moment, I knew everything was alright.  After a few minutes, everything  faded into blackness…

When I woke up, my complete awareness of what was happening began to kick in.  I realized the operation was over and the nurses waited for the numbness of my legs to subside before moving  me to my room.  The friendly nurse approached when she saw I was already fully awake.  She asked if  I want to see my baby.  I agreed eagerly.

The nurse then laid this little creature on my chest.  Dear Lord! No words could describe my elation when we were chest to chest.  Her eyes probed towards mine as if she was trying to recognize me.  Perhaps she did recognize me though I know she is not yet able to see.  Her eyes were inexplicably beautiful.  Her sedated gaze as if piercing me through the heart.  Those searching eyes; as if  assessing  my 29 years of existence and redefining  my whole being.  That gaze defined the rest of my lifetime!

I was reborn.

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