“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
It took me 6 years before I learned to truly forgive someone.
Perhaps you are asking why it took me that long. It was because I do not know what forgiveness really meant. I really did not have a clear grasp of how it is done. How does one actually do it? How the hell can you forgive someone who had hurt you sooooo bad and the hurt nearly destroyed your being.
It was actually through a silent prayer that the Divine Spirit taught me how. God said to “free myself” from the hurt, the pain, the grudged feelings. And that is what I simply did. I let go.
I told myself that it is OK now. That what that person did no longer mattered. Yes, what that person did is painful and that will not change. However I realized that it does not matter any longer.
It did not matter anymore that I was hurt, that the thing that person did was unfair, that I can never get the lost years back, that the person destroyed me heart and soul. It does not all matter any more. I can finally tell myself that it is all fine now.
For the past 6 years, I was trying so hard to forget that person. The mere mention of the name, or an encounter of things that can be tied up to that person just makes my blood curl. I hated the idea that this person was once part of my life.
Now I know why they say “forgive and forget”. Forgiveness comes first before the forgetting.
For the first time in 6 years, I was finally free of the pain. I never thought forgiving is such a liberating experience. It is truly an act that can only be done through God’s intervention. And lots and lots of time.
Forgiving is saying to yourself that what the person did to you, no matter how painful and unfair, NO LONGER MATTERS. That it is all fine now. Only then that you can free yourself and consequently, the pain will go away.
If you still haven’t learned how to forgive, I hope this sharing helps. Forgiving is the best thing you can do for yourself. It spares you of the pain and misery. Take your time. It only comes naturally and you can never force your heart to do it. Do it in prayer.