Tag Archive: Faith

It was an enormous crowd. Crowd of fear, doubt, uncertainty, and endless questions.

But when I heard about Jesus that blessed Sunday morning, that He was a healer and a deliverer, I elbowed my way through the crowd.

I heard of this Jesus once, or too many times. He was good. I knew Him well. But because of many things, both mundane and important, I kinda forgot who He really was. Or what He really meant to me.

I had suffered from flow of blood and even lost a life inside me. And perhaps, my heart kept on bleeding since. But when I heard of Jesus… that He is coming… that He was a healer… maybe… just maybe…

I rushed behind Him. No need to call His attention. No need for Him to know about me. I know He is preoccupied with so many things already.

I am now close… very close to Him. All I need is to touch the edge of His garment. Just a finger of a touch. That was all I need. And I know I will be all well.

Not minding the crushing crowd, I outstretch my arms to reach Him. Just a touch of His garment, of His power, of His love. It is all I need.

And then finally, I felt the end of his cloak…

“The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

(Mahatma Gandhi)

It took me 6 years before I learned to truly forgive someone.

Perhaps you are asking why it took me that long.  It was because I do not know what forgiveness really meant.  I really did not have a clear grasp of how it is done.  How does one  actually do it?  How the hell can you forgive someone who had hurt you sooooo bad and the hurt nearly destroyed your being.

It was actually through a silent prayer that the Divine Spirit  taught me how.  God said to  “free myself” from the hurt, the pain, the grudged feelings.  And that is what I simply did.  I let go.

I told myself that it is OK now.  That what that person did no longer mattered.  Yes, what that person did is painful and that will not change.  However I realized that it does not matter any longer.

It did not matter anymore that I was hurt, that the thing that person did was unfair, that I can never get the lost years back, that the person destroyed me heart and soul.  It does not all  matter any more. I can finally tell myself that  it is all fine now.

For the past 6 years, I was trying so hard to forget that person. The mere mention of the name, or an encounter of things that can be tied up to that person just makes my blood curl.  I hated the idea that this person was once part of my life.

Now I know why they say “forgive and forget”.  Forgiveness comes first before the forgetting.

For the first time in 6 years, I was finally free of the pain. I never thought forgiving is such a liberating experience.  It is truly an act that can only be done through God’s intervention. And lots and lots of time.

Forgiving is saying to yourself that what the person did to you, no matter how painful and unfair, NO LONGER MATTERS.  That it is all  fine now.  Only then that you can free yourself  and consequently, the pain will go away.

If you still haven’t learned how to forgive, I hope this sharing helps.  Forgiving is the best thing you can do for yourself.  It spares you of the pain and misery.  Take your time.  It only comes naturally and you can never force your heart to do it.  Do it in  prayer.